• Statistically speaking, at least one 'person' on any train is actually 7 squirrels wearing a human suit. Don't be a victim.
  • Squirrels live in trees. Bees live in trees. Are squirrels actually killer bees...in disguise???
  • No squirrel has ever been appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court...yet. Stay vigilant, fellow humans.
  • Squirrels have never, ever wished you a Happy Birthday. Like, not even once. Probably because squirrels are inconsiderate, selfish monsters.
  • Every year, squirrels steal over $46 million from human banks and replace it with acorns and cigarettes. Don't be a victim.